Love Horror Stories

games cheerleaders play

2009-02-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

what do kris kross and the proclaimers have in common?

2009-02-18T17:04:00.000-08:00

bigger is better

2009-02-17T20:02:00.001-08:00

roommate quiz

2009-02-12T14:07:00.000-08:00

If you were faced with the decision of choosing between Tyler Perry or Larry the Cable Guy for a roommate, who would you pick?

(*The living quarters in this situation would be a tiny dorm room on a medium-sized college campus. There are no other options.)

book cake

2009-02-11T20:07:00.003-08:00

this band just tried to add me on myspace

2009-01-24T09:16:00.001-08:00

maybe i won't read twilight

2009-01-22T16:25:00.001-08:00

sleep quiz

2009-01-20T15:11:00.000-08:00

Are naps a necessary part of a person's life? For my life, they seem totally necessary. But others may disagree. They help me stay awake while I drive, take walks, pet kittens. I've heard various doctors say people should be getting 7 to 10 hours of sleep a night. But my question is, what if these hours are divided into smaller sections of sleep-time (like, 6 and 2 hours, which, if my math is correct, will still equal 8)? How many naps per week are considered too much? How many in a day?

the food pyramid

2009-01-15T19:32:00.000-08:00

I wonder if they're still training children in school to abide by the food pyramid. I always thought it was kind of crazy, this pyramid scheme, this food pyramid scheme. I've never once eaten this much food in a day, and I like to eat food as much as the next guy. Maybe once or twice I have eaten several servings of everything on the food pyramid, but that was expected from me, being at my grandmother's around the holidays right before a growth spurt. I don't believe in murder, except for maybe the dietician(s) who developed the food pyramid.

rare snapshot of father time

2009-01-12T13:36:00.001-08:00

hey guys, wanna grab some beers or somethin?

2009-01-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

a girl from work

2009-01-07T18:10:00.001-08:00

This girl I work with said she'd made some thread paintings in the past. I asked if that meant she used both thread and paint on the canvas, and she said no, just thread, and that it got kind of expensive because thread was like $2 a roll, and she used about 30 rolls on the last one. My favorite band from 2002 or maybe 2003 said "Art is Hard" and I will always believe they were right. Most of my friends are starving artists of some kind, or have been in the past. Sometimes I feel like there is hardly a way to recover from this; you are born this way and you both love it and hate it and there is nothing you can do. Still, it got me thinking that I would like to do more arty things, like not thread paintings but whatever my idea of the equivalent of something like that might be. And then I thought about how I already do a lot of cool or just plain weird not-for-money things, at least in comparison to the average normal person, and no matter how many things you create you will always see that there is more ground to cover. I'd like to cover more ground, and also get my hands on one of those thread paintings.

chocolatey delight

2009-01-02T04:19:00.000-08:00

What kind of person would eat a cereal called Chocolatey Delight? Surely there are worse cereal names in the world, liked bagged generic cereals from another era especially. I must not have thought Chocolatey Delight sounded strange when I bought it grocery shopping last night, but now I want to laugh, which would be impolite because I am still eating.

couchful of babies

2009-01-01T20:29:00.001-08:00

daniel boone

2008-12-31T13:35:00.001-08:00

pre-2009 3-D movie quiz

2008-12-31T13:00:00.000-08:00

If you could watch any movie from any era in the movie theater right now, what would it be? (*The kicker is, it would be shown in 3D.)

kids petting a horse

2008-12-30T17:56:00.001-08:00

pet ownership

2008-12-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

If I walk my dog right now does it make me a better owner? She seems content enough for me to throw this hybrid rope-bone/chewtoy thing at the wall, for me to play short-distance fetch with her for thirty minutes while mine eyes leave not the laptop screen. Still, I have to understand the boredom and sadness when I notice it in her eyes, be she a dog or be she not a dog. She is a dog and a dog is a fairly intelligent creature requiring more of a person than him who only throws hybrid rope-bone/chewtoys against walls expecting happy, speedy methods of retrieval. Sometimes the hybrid rope-bone/chewtoy gets stuck between the heater and the wall, in which case the game is over until I answer her cries by getting up to dig the hybrid rope-bone/chewtoy out with my non-hybrid/human hand. She was once too scared to walk in this area whilst the heater was heating up the room. Now she is okay. If I walk my dog now it will be both because I am a paranoid person and because I need exercise anyway.

bald hair quiz

2008-12-23T19:45:00.000-08:00

If you had to live the rest of your life with one haircut, would it be John McCain's or George Costansa's? This is not a question asking which person you like better, or even whose face you would rather have. It is a question of choosing between two hair loss cuts and nothing more. (*If it helps, dyeing can be an option.)

phone booths

2008-12-21T19:20:00.000-08:00

Phone booths make me nervous. Photo booths are okay, but not phone booths. The reason? No one uses them anymore. If you don't have a cell phone, you probably don't have 35 cents to call your friend. You only have pennies, floss, paper clips, stuff like that. Hassle someone with more money than you until they let you use their phone. If they say no, there's always the one behind the Wendy's counter. Most phone booths have vanished from the world. This happened some time ago, during the days of silent films and neighborhood yard sales. Many people believe phone booths should stay so Clark Kent can have a place to change, but this is also preposterous because those people don't believe in superheroes.

beautiful/smart people

2008-12-20T19:12:00.000-08:00

The thing about beautiful people is they are not always smart. Similarly, smart people are not always beautiful. Look around tonight while you're "on the town" and see what I mean. The place I have searched for since August is one where beautiful people hang out who are also smart, and where smart people hang out who are also beautiful. This place is one where no one reads about celebrity gossip or worries about polishing their tires with the correct auto tire polish grease compound. Sometimes I think this place might be a tiny gym in Connecticut, but little research has been done to back up this theory.

the election

2008-12-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

When someone says, "I can't believe the election," I say, "Believe it." And then I vanish in the wind like a dragonfly.